Not getting caught in the anxiety spiral

“No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future.”

My dad used to say it more plainly than that. He used to ask if worrying about something or crying about something actually helped. Sometimes, when he asked about crying, I would answer yes…it makes me feel better. Then years later, I discovered that it was actually true, at least for women. That crying releases a chemical in women that does actually make them feel better. I don’t think it works with worrying though.

I’ve been worrying a lot the last few days. I got my blood test results back from my annual checkup, and the results were less than stellar. My thyroid isn’t functioning well again, my testosterone is almost nonexistent, my cortisol is extremely low, and several other issues. The result is I have to change my meds again and I have to go see a cardiologist and a rheumatologist. Yay, more specialists!! [she says sarcastically with an eye roll].

So, in addition to the poor blood test results, I’ve been having extreme fatigue and issues with being cold despite it being in the 100s outside. Apparently those two things (among others) can be indicators of heart problems, particularly in women. So, I now have an appointment with a cardiologist in a couple of weeks. This is causing some anxiety because I’m not sure what the cardiologist is going to be looking for and what I need to be prepared to tell her. My life coach, Demi, says that I should ask my PCP to help me outline what I need to be prepared to discuss with her. Also I’m feeling anxious about yet another new diagnosis. After talking with Demi, she helped me realize that the cardiologist may not find anything, and I may be able to just cross if off the list of health issues that I have to deal with. That would be the best result, and that’s what I’m going to choose to focus on until I have information indicating otherwise. Don’t borrow trouble, right Dad? 😉

I also have a positive Antinuclear Antibodies (ANA) test result, which is what is leading to the need for the Rheumatologist appointment. This specialist doesn’t cause as much anxiety because this isn’t completely new territory. I’ve been dealing with arthritis issues for 30 years now, since my first knee surgery. Also, I’ve been to see a Rheumatologist before, so I know a bit better what to expect. The positive ANA could indicate something other than arthritis, and with the extreme fatigue I’ve been dealing with, Lupus (SLE) is a possibility. There’s not a cure for SLE, but they do have ways to manage it, and it does kind of fit in with the Ehlers Danlos and osteoarthritis. I feel like this issue is not a complete departure from my other health history and is a little easier to wrap my mind around.

This blog is actually one of my coping tools for processing all of this information and ordering my thoughts on it all. Another way I deal with the unknown is to have a plan with different paths mapped out depending on the possible outcomes. So, my plan for the next couple of weeks is to:

·   Learn what I can about seeing a cardiologist and what to expect

·   Update my medical history notebook

·   Get my pre-appointment paperwork filled out

·   Take time every day to check in with myself and see how I’m doing

So that’s where I am today. Trying not to have anxiety about anxiety as it relates to these new doctors in my life and trying to not let myself spiral out of control. How do you handle uncertainty? Do you embrace it or ignore it? Leave a comment or drop me an email at aclarusmktggirl@gmail.com. Live well.